There’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot these days: Who can I be and what can I do to make the story of my world a better one?
By now, most, if not all of us, have experienced significant change since the COVID-19 pandemic began last spring. People have dealt with altered connections and relationships. Others have lost loved ones. Some have struggled for mental peace. And still others have lost jobs and their homes.
My family, friends, and I are no exception. We moved my Mom moved into assisted living due to her response to a lack of physical connection. This escalated her mental health decline and she’s now suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease. A colleague lost contracts and three people close to him passed away, impacting his mental wellness as well as his ability to continue on our project. Others we know are angry about the numerous changes to procedures for their kids’ schools and businesses. Young people of all ages including those in our circle are experiencing tremendous sorrow. And several adults we are connected with have chosen to isolate themselves while being livid at the world.
Changes, especially those unexpected, can lead to a very high learning curve for many of us. For me, these surprises can feel so big at first that I do not know if I will be able to get through. That is what it felt like for me when we discovered, in the midst of making personal adjustments due to the virus, that my Mom was in need of a move and support.
As you probably have realized, shift and change is part of life. Things we cannot anticipate are going to happen. So, if they happen, is there a way we can be more prepared and less stressed in the midst? I believe there is a way, and that way is remembering that each of us has a choice.
Overcoming the mental obstacles
My Mom did not want to move. As a family, we were seeing all sorts of reasons assisted living was going to be good for her. But it felt like a no-win situation. On top of this, my brother was having surgery and wouldn’t be able to lift anything. It all seemed impossible and overwhelming.
After a bit of time being stressed about this, I started to pray. I talked with family, friends, and mentors. And eventually, I realized I was focused on the negative. So, I started to ask myself a different question: who can I be and what can I do to help?
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The result of this shift in my focus was amazing. Instead of fright and flight, my mind shifted to solutions that would support my Mom, my family, and myself, and a whole new plan revealed itself. It included my brother doing the paperwork and organizing the move while I focused on the heavier labour. My dear hubby and I stepped up and took care of Mom at our home part-time and part-time at her condo while we packed. We also engaged home care medical professionals to help Mom wherever she was staying. To convince my Mom the move was a good idea, we asked Mom’s doctor to assist us. As a result of these choices, we now have a great story of how we came together as a family and medical team to move Mom into safety. The best part is Mom chose to move on her own with this support.
This was a miracle because we all had a choice. Mom could have refused to move. We could have fought and made it a very difficult transition, tried to convince Mom on our own without asking for medical professional help, and chosen to drag this out for a long time, not getting Mom the help she needed putting her at harm.
But we didn’t. Instead, we made the choices that led to wins for everyone involved.
I share this story in hopes that you will see that whatever is happening for you right now, that you also have a choice as to how you will respond.
Whether you are having to rethink how Christmas is going to look this year, having to wear a mask when you’re shopping, having to change your child’s care once again, hearing from someone you love they are sad and lonely or you are not able to see a loved one due to quarantine — you have a choice as to who to be and what to do.
My prayer is that you will make a loving and grace-filled choice, one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and others.
Merry Christmas to you and yours and all the best to you in 2021!
