Best laid plans and their surprises

Have you ever taken steps towards a goal, and everything is going well? You gain momentum and things look like they are going to happen just like you want them to. That is until something stops it all…

That’s how I would summarize this year for me and our company. Things were going very well at the beginning of the year personally and professionally. I was confidently moving through an amazing course with the Sponsorship Collective, where I found big partners. We were on our way to influential film events. I was excited, confident and encouraged. On the personal side, I had trips planned to connect with my godchildren and family. We had made headway in caring for my mom and I was feeling solid with my own physical and mental wellness.

Then things started to unravel. We had unexpected challenges at home, COVID-19 restrictions got tighter, and my body started to lose energy. I began to have to work less and rest at home more. By the end of July, I was in bed full time and had to lay aside everything I had worked so hard for as well as time with loved ones.

Needless to say, I have been on a big, unplanned learning curve. It turned out that the cause of the change in my vitality was estrogen depletion. Apparently, it happens to some women before menopause. Who knew? I was happy to hear from my naturopath that the rest of my body is very healthy. But he even thought it was odd that I had an estrogen level of an old lady! We had a good laugh about it.

At the time, I did not know what this meant. But it turns out, because of a lack of estrogen, I could not maintain any focus or energy. I could not drive or go anywhere. Although I handled it quite well in the beginning, eventually, I became down, focused on the losses and hardships. All I thought about was how I missed my friends, my family, and summer fun. And, I was disappointed with the results and the reality I had to face. I even got to the place where I greatly doubted my ability and value.

Finding the opportunity through the hardship

It has taken me quite some time to move through the emotions and to process the grief and loss. But today I can sincerely say I have done a lot of it, and I have learned so much.

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I realize now how important it is that we create winning opportunities for our home and life especially when it comes to the hard stuff. I also had no idea how powerful hormonal changes can be. They can completely alter a woman’s life! Thankfully, my hormonal imbalance is shifting with an easy cream application once a day. I’ve also come to understand while it might not have felt like the best time for everything to fall apart, it actually could have been a lot worse. It would have been devastating to be in the middle of events and then to lose all my energy and focus! I am glad that we were spared from that.

I also know more than ever that I can depend on others to help my Mom two hours away, and that I can relate to my friends and family in different ways other than visiting them. They can visit me or we can talk on the phone or online. And we do not have to talk for long. It does not have to look a certain way. Even if we talk less due to my energy, our relationship remains.

What was most surprising was that while I was experiencing these dark times, I became a re-inspired storyteller. I wanted to share my own personal story and help capture the stories of others even more than I had before. I have started writing again my book as well as scripts and have found clarity in who I am and who I want to be. That’s all because of this experience this last year. I am eternally grateful.