Have you ever wondered what the reason is that some people thrive?

I’ve always been curious about this because I want to thrive in all I am and do. But how? Can I have the “special sauce” for Christmas, please? 🙂

This isn’t about comparing – we don’t ever know the full extent of someone’s story. But people respond to similar, unexpected circumstances in different ways. Some thrive, some struggle. Finding the ways to handle these uncontrollable moments can be life-changing.

Different responses

Let’s begin with some examples of how others responded to the unexpected in their lives:

Frasier: The show Frasier starts when the lead character unexpectedly loses all. Instead of choosing to wilt away, Frasier chooses to pick himself up and move back to Seattle. There, he rebuilds his life with his family of origin as a radio psychiatrist. Although a bumpy ride we get to laugh at a lot, Frasier comes out as a winner in the end.

Two families and a friend: A couple of families in our community have loved ones who were involved in a horrible car accident several years ago. One family’s loved one was seriously injured and the other’s was killed. Somehow both these families have picked up the pieces and found their way forward. On the flip side, a friend of mine suffered the fatal loss of a loved one and isolated themselves from the community until they passed decades later.

Our mothers: I see John’s mom who lost her hubby over 20 years ago, still enjoys her own home at 86 and has overcome a couple of setbacks. Whereas I see my mom who, within a year and a half of losing my dad in 2019, showed signs of Alzheimer’s and lost independence. Three and a half years later, she is in a doctor-required level four care home at age 79. She now requires nurses and lifting equipment to move.

The secret to thriving

When things occur outside our control, life can bite. My journey in life, with John, and in storytelling taught me that. So how do people not only survive but thrive despite the unexpected? Is it their personalities and experiences?

Coach and psychologist, Dr. Wayne Hammond says that it is more than that. His research shows that most people do not thrive because medical care, therapy, schools, and interactions taught them how to respond from a place of weakness instead of strength. He believes society is too focused on fixing rather than building. As a result, most people are dependent and respond from the backs of their brains — the amygdala where fear, fight, and flight reign.

I’m a prime example. I did not know how to handle the incredibly fast changes I saw in my mom. I relied on her to be a certain way and that was gone. So, I disconnected. I froze in stress. When my own health and energy sagged, I lost some hope and became depressed. In fact, I nearly shut down our business despite so much good happening.

But my reactions did not make sense to me. First of all, I have great faith which is my strength. I am very dedicated to my family, my health, and my work as a storyteller. I do well. Sure, these changes were not easy, but it was not like me to pull back. In fact, I tend to press in harder when things get tough. Something was pushing my buttons.

Through my work with Dr. Hammond, I connected the dots. I knew in my head that there are many ways to get somewhere in life, that something good can come out of all things, and that I can only control my responses. Yet, I still held a belief that was working against my faith — that these unexpected happenings were an end, an unknown, something to fear, limiting or holding me back. I was fighting — living in the back of my brain!

Putting the secret into practice

It’s one thing to wrap your head around the concept, but it’s another to put it into practice. But I’ve been making progress.

By listening to myself, I began to thrive instead of surviving in these areas of my life. I empathized with how difficult it has been to go through the changes in my mom, my health, and my energy. I began to understand the reasons I had responded the way I had. And I honoured myself for feeling that way. I actually grieved more fully than I had all along.

I noticed I reacted less and I enjoyed the small moments again. Rest came as I prayed and remembered I am not alone. The truth that there is a season for everything and it will not look this way forever lifted me. And I let go of my own timing of projects and opportunities and moved into a place of greater trust.

I’ve found a deeper connection and understanding with my Mom. My own energy levels are improving with a simple therapy as I learn to be patient with healing. And Reinholdt Productions is still moving ahead with a focus on writing and directing in the mental wellness space.

Learning how to thrive and how to be okay with dips and valleys is helping me grow, be empathetic to others and build on the strength I have within for an exciting future.

A Thank you and Invitation

Thank you to those of you who participated in our 2021 survey. You helped us create an amazing business case and take some very important steps toward shifting to stories focused on lifting audiences to wellness.

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We wish you a very Peacefilled Christmas and a Well 2023!